Thursday 19 February 2009

THE ULTIMATE 80’S KARAOKE TOP TEN… The Songs… The Artists… The hushed sense of wonder…

It occurred to me the other week that I quickly judge people by their proverbial “mix tape” and that perhaps its time I put my money where my mouth is and release a sampling of my own…

So – dear readers, I present to you “Mix tape 1 – The Ultimate 80’s Karaoke Top Ten.”

Now – please note, these are in no particular order and the driving force behind these choices is their KARAOKE potential and not the greatness of the song itself (although at times the two go hand in hand)


1. HAZY SHADE OF WINTER – THE BANGLES.

Ooooh yeah... The Bangles are an essential component of an 80’s karaoke play list, however I purposefully choose to stay away from the usual Eternal Flame/Walk Like an Egyptian choices. This song is GOLD I tell you! This is a good choice for the novice - clocking in at under three minutes it’s short and sweet – but don’t let it fool you. Hazy Shade gives you no choice but to rock it out. The rule here is go hard or go home. Bare in mind the intro is deceiving, a little gentle and quiet – you can lull your audience into a false sense of security… but once that glorious cowbell kicks in… you have to nail it! Get your crowd clapping… hands in the air; take the message of the song… “It’s the spring time of my life…” Don’t waste a moment of this foot stompin’ track… you won’t regret it.

2. TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART – BONNIE TYLER.

Ok - this is an anthem – so if you feel up to tackling it then you really have to go there. Channel that pain… picture the face of everyone who has ever done you wrong! This song is a slow build, you cannot peak to early otherwise your vocal chords will be torn to shreds and you will be relegated to singing Macy Gray for the rest of your life. No one wants that – not even Macy… so hold out for the big finish. Now – Instrumental Break Warning: There is a massive instrum break in this track and to get through and still hold your audience’s attention you are going to have to turn on the 80’s film clip wind machine of your imagination and let it be said now that a fall to the knees is mandatory. As the songs says… you have to live that powder keg and give off sparks… just ask your self “what would Bonnie do?”


3. LIVING ON A PRAYER – BON JOVI.

Oh god how can you not? Seriously! Tight jeans and big hair? The story of Tommy working on the docks? It’s tough… so tough… it’s an inspirational story! This is a good crowd warmer as EVERYONE loves the Jovi and the song is essentially about building a sense community. “We’ve got each other… take my hand we’ll make it...” If you do it right, they’ll join in. Just rock it out and enjoy.

4. RUN TO PARADISE – THE CHOIRBOYS.

Ok – so not everyone will know this one. It is an iconic Aussie track and isn’t on every karaoke list but if by some stroke of heavenly bliss you find it… GO FOR IT. You won’t be sorry. Things to know: air guitar is mandatory and other physical exertion a must. You are basically singing the same chorus over and over again so mix up a medley of jumping, head nodding and air punching… love it and rock it… if you are feel so inclined, go for some audience participation but ONLY IN AUSTRALIA. Trust me – no one anywhere else knows this track and you will be faced with nothing but dreaded tumbleweed. A good starter for this song is a dedication- for me I would have to go with “This one’s going out to Andy, Pete and Phil… HOLD YOUR HEADS UP BOYS!


5. I DROVE ALL NIGHT – CYNDI LAUPER.

I am sure most people will agree there MUST be some Cyndi on the list. After much deliberation I think this is the best karaoke show off moment her 80’s catalogue provides (Ash/Jenni – correct me if you think I’m wrong). Ease your way in on this one, it starts nice and low… catch their attention with the first verse; “I was dreaming when I drove the long straight road ahead…” but be ready to hit it when you get to the signature “burning me up inssssiiiiiiiiiide” You need to be channelling a personal film clip of orange hair and pink backdrop with this one. Be totally committed to those big notes or no one will care (Whether you can actually sing them or not… just give into the power of the Lauper and you will be a true hero for 4.5 minutes) Very importantly – this song comes with a FADE OUT WARNING. You know what I mean… the days when no one could work out how to end a song so they just faded it down to nothing? Here you have two choices – fade down with it or push though til you are on your own… the choice is yours – but do it with style. Its up to you to finish this one well.


6. HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT – PAT BENETAR.

Back to the short and sweet – again less than three minutes… get them from the start… play it cute, punchy and happy go lucky. Think of those timeless lyrics - “pull out your dukes lets get down to it.” Yeah… you know what I’m saying…. Mandatory air guitar in the instrumental – perhaps get a friend to join in for this – I find it easier to share this moment, in preparation of the big “fire awaaaaaaaaayyyy” that is about to hit you after the break. Go in completely peppy and you’ll come back a star.


7. POISON – ALICE COOPER.

Surprised by this choice? Don’t be. Its time to get a little dark… channel you inner Alice… get your leather pants on and your shirt off. This is a tale of forbidden love – I need to see some heavy duty air punching and finger pointing, preferably accompanied by copious amounts of eye make up. Think of those lyrics you are going to deliver. “You mouth… so hot… your web... I’m caught… black lace… on sweat…” The Coops is naught-ay so get your sexy on and go there… own it. Be in the film clip… go to your garden of Eden and touch the forbidden fruit of Alice Cooper! Let it build through that blissful chorus over and over again and do not, under any circumstances, miss the wailing guitar solo to bring it home.


8. JUMP – VAN HALEN.

This one is a no brainer and I refuse to patronise or belittle any one of you by explaining it. But I will say this - sing it to a crowd of 80,000 people (no matter how many are actually in the room) and live every moment of that histrionic keyboard solo… this song also comes with a fade out warning.


9. ALL I WANNA DO IS MAKE LOVE TO YOU – HEART.

Oh my god… what a story you get to tell here. It’s a rainy night, on a road trip, there’s hot anonymous sex… WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED? Go on the journey with this one. Be warned – its 5 mins long so you better have the stamina to get through the emotional roller coaster Heart gave us. “He woke the woman in me so many times easily…” Genious lyric writing! And then… she abandons him leaving only a note!? They then find each other again, only for it to be too late because “she is in love with another man!?” If you can somehow incorporate an interpretive dance into this performance, I would be highly impressed.

And finally -

10. WE BUILT THIS CITY ON ROCK AND ROLL – JEFFERSON STAR SHIP. If you are going to finish with a song – do it with an up-tempo one, some might say an anthem. Dancing is once again a must here, some possible air guitar/drums if the mood takes you. Should the need arise - this song brings with it a possible drinking game. The crowd knocks one back every time they hear the word “city.” Trust me… the drunker they get… the better you sound…

And that brings us to the end. I am sure this conversation will bring with it much debate and if you feel I have made any fatal errors/omissions I want to hear them. Go on… discuss.

To hear the complete play list – click here:

http://www.last.fm/user/amymaiden/library/playlists/2lw7m_ultimate_80%2527s_karaoke_top_ten

2 comments:

Bernsta, Bernoir, B..B..B...Berns said...

Freak

Tango Techie said...

I disagree with #9 entirely, I hated that song when it reigned the charts all thouse years ago and I hate ot now and one other thing..
Didn't "Johnny used to work on the docks"..? Or was Tommy his free loading jerk of a brother...?